En Oo the fook ar Uoo

En Ooo the fook ay yoo?

The Hong Kong Chinese in 1993 were very different to their country cousins over the boarder in mainland China.
HK Chinese enjoyed the trappings of a modern western life style and freedom to travel.

In 1994 just across the border the PRC were gathering and waiting for the govenor Chris Patten and the British Government to finally hand Hong Kong back ending 150 years of British occupation of Hong Kong and the surrounding 235 islands they occupied since the 1842 first opium war.

Lo Wu Border from the Hong Hong side.

Managing two Quarries for a time, I crossed the China / Hong Kong border sometimes 8 times a week and soon developed a nodding friendship with many of the PRC border guards who after the first few weeks of stamping my passport turning my officially stamped PRC work permit in to a large red blob stopped bothering to open or even look at my presented passport and took to simply waving me through the border with a bored nod.
 I began buying cartons of 500 cigarettes as I passed through the no mans land duty free shop between the Hong Kong / Chinese border, these I often left on the counter as I passed through.

During Chinese holidays the border became so crowded the boarder ques often stretched back a kilometer or more easily adding hours to the journey.
Patrolling guards often pull me from the que to escort me past the crowd and through immigration and the border knowing they would more than likely gain a packet or two of cigarettes for their trouble.

I was waiting in a very long Que one day when a scuffle broke out a little way ahead, several PRC border guards quickly moved in.
I was some way back and paid little attention to the problem, until two PRC guards I recognized approached me and after a moment hesitation smiled as they pulled me from the line, showing a little more determination than usual in their task as they formally escorted me toward the disturbance.
I came upon a PRC captain having an animated discussion with two Chinese businessmen in suits obviously returning from Hong Kong.
Standing off to one side with three slightly uncomfortable looking PRC guards was an very agitated sightly built young woman in her mid twenties with a long bush of bright red hair and freckles clutching a knapsack to her chest.
Upon recognizing me as I approached the captain stopped his conversation, turned to me.
I understood in my limited Chinese there was a problem with the red head woman, he shook my hand then escorted me over to her, he smiled before re returning to the two business men.
I introduced myself to the red head then asked her what had happened.
 
She looked at me with some suspicion for a moment, her voice still containing a trace of venom as she asked in a very broad Scottish accent, “En oo the foock ar yoo”?

I presented her with my business card as I informed her I knew the captain and guards and they had asked me to help.
She began explaining the two business men behind her had grabbed her by the hair then tried to rob her.
I looked over at the two men in suits, both in their forties their conversation with the captain was in Chinese standard (Mandarin) not the local Cantonese leaving me thinking they were more than likely from the mainland and not HK.
By now a more  PRC guards were gathering about us in a loose circle.

“I'm here to help", I went on, "you said they pulled your hair”? I asked, adding “Did they try to grab your bag”?
“Noo, ey ad a goot hold on it” she went on, I noticed the red flushed colour in her face was faiding and returning her to a much paler complexion which also  began highlighting her numerous freckles.

The guards standing about were talking among them selves, I was also catching parts of their conversation in Chinese.
“Should I point my gun at her”? One new arrival asked.
“Not without the captains permission” his mate said.

“Why ar yoo here”? she asked.
“To help” I replied noticing the Captain and the two business men were now approaching us.
“????!!?? only hair”,one of the businessmen explained as he drew near, I couldn't understand the first part of his conversation.

The red head moved behind me, wary of the approaching businessmen as well as being surrounded by armed Chinese guards in uniforms.

“No one here will hurt you” I explained hoping the captain understood.
“Does he know her”? One of the guards asked another.
“They are both Bái yōulíng” His mate replied. I translated his Mandarin to mean Gweilo a common Cantonese slang term for foreigners meaning ‘white ghost’ or foreigner.

“Oh ow do hey know Iy don no ya from a barh of soop” She explained.
“You explain, mistake” the captain asked.
“Mo man tai” I replied in Cantonese,“No problem”, temporarily unable to remember the equivalent in Mandarin.

“Cross border, yes” the captain added keen to clear the problem from the crowded hall.
“Cross border, yes”? I replied to the captain.
He smiled and nodded.
I turned to the redhead and explained it was only her hair the businessmen were interested in they just wanted to feel your red hair, in China it is rare and an unusual, red is a lucky colour, western hair to the Chinese feels like silk compared to their much thicker, courser black horse hair, long red hair like yours is going to attract a lot of unwanted interest, The Chinese businessmen meant no offense, it was only curiosity, they obviously don't speak English other wise they would have asked your permission first. Now if you intend to spend time in China you will either need to get a hat, a hair cut or hide it under a scarf or you will just have to get use to the Chinese wanting to touch it.

“I wonder if he is asking her for her address” one guard said behind me.
“Ask her to bed” someone answered.
“Shut up and form up” replied the captain.

“Soow whet happens noow” she asked suddenly noticing the PRC guards were now moving to form a loose square about us.

“The captain has offered to escort us through immigration”, I replied.
“Whot den? Nn just oo the fuck are yoo really” she asked, suddenly becoming suspicious.

“After? you are free to visit China if you still want and me? I'm no one, the captain doesn't want an international incident in his crowded hall and has offered to let us through customs” I explained.

“How com yoo cn orda the Chineeze to do stoof, I don't know oo ya really ar”? she said.
“Look, I cross this border four or more times a week and have done so for quite a while, the guards  all know me and that's all, now please they would like to give you an escort through the border” I explained.
I was relieved to see her join us as the group moved off in a sort of very loose square formation as we walked the two hundred meters to the crowded immigration counter where people were cleared to allow us to present our passports. Mine was instantly returned without being opened, I turned and watched as she passed hers over, the guard opened it, found the large red visitors stamp and stamped his over the top before tossing it back without showing further interest.
The escort group moved on to the main departure hall where the captain finally halted, turned and smiled, I opened my briefcase and handed him a carton of cigarettes, he shook my hand then hers with a "Che Che" as the group broke up and returned to their patrolling.

We walked down the broad marble staircase toward the exit then she stopped.
”Eer ei notced ee didn't even bova a look et yor passport, oo are you exactly, som sorta spy”? She asked.
“No” I smiled,”I'm not some sort of spy I'm exactly what it say’s on my card, I’m just a quarry manager working in China” I replied, walking toward the large doors that lead out onto the impossibly crowded streets of China.

Chinese side of the border.

She had stopped to read my business card once more before catching up with me just as the large doors slid open allowing the noise, sights and the dust of China to hit her full in the face all at the same time, she stopped in the crowded doorway.
 
I waited a few moments then taking her by the hand said,”Welcome to China, this way I’ll buy you a hat and a scarf, and put you on the train to Guangzhou”.